Where God Speaks

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This entry is part 01 of 6 in the series Is This On?

Jonathan Sprang - January 11, 2015

Where God Speaks

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This message is taught by Jonathan Sprang.

It’s 2015!  Mind boggling I know.  It seems like just 12 days ago it was 2014.  Man…  I’ve never really been a huge “New Year” type person. What I mean by that is I’ve never really been big on resolutions and reflecting on the previous year, kinda thing.  I don’t know why that is, it’s just not me.  However, this year is a little different. Because a year ago today, I was so depressed i couldn’t get out of bed.  Literally, I laid in bed all day, devastated.

See, in 2012 I got nodes on my vocal chords which meant NO SINGING.  I did what the doctor said and I came back singing toward the end of that year.  But then in 2013 I got them again! I’m a worship leader, I get paid to sing, and now this is the second time I’ve had these.

But by the beginning of 2014, I had made it back… or so I thought.

At the end of 2013, I had worked back up to singing about half the songs on Sunday mornings. While in Florida, my parent’s church asked me to sing along with their worship team and I said I would.  Following the gathering I started feeling a scratch in my voice.  A feeling that felt eerily familiar. I immediately jumped into, “What have I done?” I immediately put myself on vocal rest and didn’t talk much the rest of my time in Florida.

The trip home, I spent the entire time just yelling at myself internally.

When we got back it was the night of our New Years Late Night with the teens.  We had tons of video game systems going and everyone was having a great time. It was Tommy’s first event that he ran for us and so I just went over in a corner and played a game by myself and didn’t really talk to anyone.  I had teens ask me if everything was ok and I just said my throat hurts.

I got to the doctor and he said I was good to go, just a throat infection.  Relief right?  For about a week…  when I woke up on a wednesday morning after catalyst band practice and felt like I’d hurt it again.  I sent a text and said I can’t come to staff meeting.  I don’t have it in me.   I just laid in bed and didn’t want to get out. I wanted to quit. I wanted to just crawl into a whole and never see or talk to anyone again.

This was my life a year ago.  Back and forth from feeling good to feeling like i’m never gonna sing again.

The highs of singing and leading here at Catalyst, and all the joy that brought, and then before long, I would feel like my world was ending.

I had done everything I was supposed to do. All the work that I’d put in with vocal rest, and then voice lessons, and then not leading every week, and doing warmups every day to keep it in shape.  All this work.

It was like I was in the middle of the ocean…

I know we don’t have an ocean real close, but imagine Lake Ray Hubbard on a bad day, and then multiply that by 10.  Waves on Ray would probably be a little bump right?  Well, the one time I went fishing in the ocean, I threw up, on a normal day!  So imagine a stormy day, without a boat, without a life jacket. That’s what my life felt like.  And I was just working my tail off, just flailing and fixing and working, just trying to get some stability in the middle of the chaos. And any time I thought I’d caught my breath, another wave would just crash down on me.

In the middle of my chaos, it seemed that no matter how much i flailed around to get to God, i still couldn’t reach him.

Join us Sunday as we learn where God speaks to us – in the midst of the chaos of our lives!

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