My wife Amanda is an Enneagram Nine. Not long after we were married, we were going to sleep. We were still getting used to each other’s sleeping habits, and mine involves turning a lot. I went to roll, and she was pressed up against me (which is adorable, isn’t it? Objectively yes.) I was in the process of falling asleep, so I said – much more curtly than I should have, “Could you give me some space?”
She rolled over and I passed out.
A couple of days later, as we were falling asleep, I noticed she was waaaaaay over on the other side of our king-sized bed. I thought back and realized she’d been sleeping like that for the last couple of nights.
I said, “Are you sleeping on the edge of your side?”
She replied, “Yes.”
I smiled despite myself and said, “Are you sleeping on the edge of your side because I asked you to scoot over a couple of nights ago?”
She said, “You could have been a lot nicer about it.”
I apologized, and we met in the middle – literally. And we laugh about that story now, but her actions there were classic Nine.
Do you know someone who absolutely hates conflict? Someone who would rather gnaw their own arm off than speak up for themselves? I bet that person is also a really great friend – they really care about other people in their lives too.
But Nines – it’s not good for you to ignore your own needs for the sake of everyone else. I know that’s really hard for you to hear, so today we’re going to ask: What is your path to spiritual wholeness? And how can the rest of us help you love yourself as well as you love us?