The Kids Are All Right

As with all my Film Reflections, watch out for spoilers.

Kids_credits_KCalifornian couple Nic and Jules have been together for twenty-something years. Nic is a doctor (the two met at college, when Jules came to the hospital where Nic was a resident), and Jules quit her job when the two had children.  We learn early on that they had their two children, Joni (18) and Laser (15), with the help of a sperm donor since they are not biologically compatible. Now that the kids are older, Jules is starting a new business – landscaping.

The film follows the family through the so-normal-it’s-dull growing pains of a 21st century family. Joni is leaving for college at the end of the summer, and is trying to figure out how to be her own person. Laser is friends with a guy who is a bully and leads Laser to make increasingly bad decisions. Both kids know that their ‘father’ is actually a sperm donor, and since Joni is 18, she makes contact. The kids meet Paul, a late-30s, never-married organic restaurant owner, and are instantly taken with him. He begins spending more and more time with the family, which causes problems…

Nic and Jules have been growing apart.  Nic is the quintessential micro-manager to Jules’ free spirit. Their lives and their marriage has become routine, so when Paul hires Jules to landscape the backyard of his newly purchased house, their inevitable affair is no surprise (again, so cliché it’s bland). The climax of the film showcases the inevitable implosion of the nuclear family, and ends on a positive note; even though the family is physically displaced by Joni’s departure for college, we get the sense that Nic and Jules and their kids are going to be all right.

Bland. Boring. The kids’ rebellion (the height of which is Joni riding a motorcycle with Paul, which Nic has expressly forbidden – gasp!) is boring. Nic and Jules’ marital problems are the stuff of stereotypes and sitcoms – two people who love each other have grown apart and are trying to figure out how to reconnect. Even Paul, the donor dad, is so banal as to be forgettable. He’s a basically nice guy who’s maybe still a little juvenile. Nothing about the story is especially compelling or memorable.

Oh, except for the fact that Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) are lesbians. (The whole film in fact, from the excellent acting to well-written script, seem to pursue the banal and stereotypical precisely for this reason.) Nic and Jules’ sexuality is nearly an afterthought in the film. No one – not the kids, not Paul (Mark Ruffalo), no one! – thinks that Nic and Jules shouldn’t be married or have kids. No one thinks that Joni and Laser are going to grow up sexually deviant (Joni seems almost totally uninterested in sex, and Laser is grossed out when he discovers that his moms think he might be gay).

In fact, the film’s strongest argument is its most subtle: a person’s sexuality doesn’t define her (or him). Lesbian couples have the same problems as anyone else. Kids raised by same-sex couples are pretty much normal kids. In short, the film is arguing that gay people really are people too.

What’s probably most sad to me is that this film even needed to be made. Especially Evangelical Christians are notorious for demonizing gay and lesbian persons. In “discussions” of same-sex marriage, we often claim that allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry will destroy the fabric of heterosexual marriages (this while we allow our divorce rates to climb over 50%). The Kids Are All Right argues that a person’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with whether a marriage will be healthy, or for that matter whether children will be healthy. While it should go without saying, the film argues that gay and lesbian persons are just as capable of love and commitment – and no more susceptible to temptation – than a ‘normal’ heterosexual person.

While it should go without saying that gay persons are people too, fully human and no more defined by their sexual orientation than a heterosexual person, it doesn’t go without saying because we Christians need to hear and learn that so badly. Our marriages have problems because we’re people, not because someone’s gay. Our kids struggle because growing up is tough, not because of ‘the Gays’. The Kids Are All Right is trying to say, Hey everybody, can we all calm down a little bit and start talking about what we have in common instead of what makes us different?

The debate over same-sex marriage in this country is far from over. We would all do well to listen to this bland, boring film and reevaluate our own rhetoric. If we can’t engage those who disagree with us as whole persons, equal conversation partners, then our discussion cannot move forward.

Bottom Line: The film isn’t that interesting as a story; its power comes from the conversations it generates in the wake of its viewing.

Have you seen the film? What do you think of its stance on same-sex marriage and/or parenting?

The Oval Office

This series of posts is my attempt to demonstrate that the language of the Revelation was actually symbolic code that was very intelligible to a first-century Jewish Christian living in the Roman Empire.  I’m re-writing the Revelation to communicate the same message, but to a twenty-first century American Christian audience, using symbols we understand.  This section parallels Revelation 4-5; if you want to catch up, here’s a PDF compiling all the entries so far: The Revelation to JR – Chapters 1-5.

After this I looked, and there in Heaven I saw an open door.  And the first voice – the one I’d heard that sounded like a jet engine – said, “Come up here, and I will show you what’s going happen next.”  I was immediately pulled into a vision and there in Heaven I saw an Oval Office, with a large desk at the center of the office and someone seated at the desk.  The person seated at the desk was more beautiful than the Hope Diamond or any other collection of jewels you could imagine.  I saw a wedding ring surrounding the desk, running throughout the whole Office.

Surrounding the desk were 50 more desks, and at each desk I saw a Congressperson, all dressed in white suits and wearing gold medals around their necks.

Continue reading

The Seventh Church

This is the final church in my ongoing reimagining of the Revelation to John.  You can catch the first piece here.  These short pieces draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

To the angel of the Evangelical churches write: These are the words of the Truth, the faithful and true reporter, the source of everything in God’s world:

I know what you’re doing. I know that you’re neither full of tradition nor cutting edge. I wish you were either steeped in heritage or innovative but since you’re neither – since you just follow the culture around, mimicking whatever you see, I’m going to foreclose on your buildings and burn them to the ground. You say, “I am hip, I’m relevant and people love me.” You don’t realize that you are pathetic, derivative, poor, uncool and naked. You want my advice? (Too bad if you don’t!) You need to start following me around. I’ve got a light show that will dazzle you, and white graduation robes that are way cooler than anything in your closet. Look to me for your inspiration, and I’ll show you a world unlike any you can imagine. I chastise and discipline the people I love – do you understand that that’s what’s happening here? Take a good, hard look at yourself and repent! I’m not just some cheap slogan on a t-shirt or bumper sticker! Your community deserves to know that I’m more than a slick production. I’m in the lobby. All you have to do is ask and I’ll come into your meetings and we’ll transform this whole place together. To the one who conquers, I’ll give a place with me in my office – the same way I have already conquered and sat down with my Father in his office. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.

The Sixth Church

This is the another installment of my reimagining of the Revelation to John.  These short pieces draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

To the angel of the Hispanic churches write: “These are the words of the Holy One. The True Immigrant. He has the key of David and what he opens, no one can shut (and if he shuts it, no one can open it either!):

I know what you’re doing. Look: I have opened the borders in front of you and no one can close them. I know you don’t have much power, but even still you have kept my word and haven’t denied my name. I will make those of the nation of Satan – who say they are God’s people but are not (they’re lying!) – I’m going to make them stand up and salute you and they will learn that I have loved you all along. Because you have been patiently listening to me, I’m going to protect you from the great tests that the whole world is going to take. I’m coming soon, so keep holding on tightly to what you have – you don’t want anyone to take your gold medal from you! If you conquer, I will make you a load-bearing wall in the Church of my God – you’ll never leave it! And I’ll sign my name on your forehead – my name, God’s name and the name of the New Utopia from God. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.

The Fifth Church

This is the another installment of my reimagining of the Revelation to John.  These short pieces draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

To the angel of the Baptist churches write: These are the words of the one who has the seven flaming doves and the seven stars:

I know what you’re doing. You have a reputation for being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what’s left and is at death’s door, because I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember everything you’ve been given, and everything you’ve learned. Obey it and repent! If you don’t wake up, I will come like a thief and you won’t know when I’ll strike. There are a few of you Baptists who haven’t gotten caught up in all the mud-slinging and are still clean. They’re going to walk with me, dressed in white graduation robes, because they’re worthy. If the rest of you conquer, you will also be dressed in white graduation robes, and I won’t erase your names form the book of life. In fact, quite the opposite, I’ll read it loud and proud in front of my Father and all the angels. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.

The Fourth Church

This is the next installment of my reimagining of the Revelation to John.  You can catch the first piece here.  These short pieces draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

To the angel of the Mainline Protestant churches write: These are the words of the Son of God, who has eyes that burn with intelligence and tough, sturdy steel-toed work boots on his feet:

I know what you’ve done – your love, faith, service and patience. I know that you’re doing things now that are greater than anything you’ve ever done. But I have this against you: you tolerate the likes of Ahab and Jezebel, who call themselves prophets and teachers and who are duping my servants to welcome and even celebrate fornication. I’ve given them time to repent, but they refuse to repent of their perversion. Watch out: I’m going to throw them onto a bed, and anyone who commits adultery with them I’m going to throw on the bed of suffering too (unless they repent!). I’m going to kill the children of her adultery. And all the churches will know that I am the one who explores your minds and hearts, and I’ll give each person and church what your works deserve. But to the rest of you Mainline Protestants who don’t hold to these teachings, who haven’t learned what some call ‘the open mind’ of Satan, I’m not going to burden you with anything else. Just hold on to the faith and works you have until I come. To everyone who conquers and continues to do my works until the end, I will offer the invitation,

Look, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready; come to the wedding banquet,

since it is my Father’s party. To the one who conquers I will also give the whitest wedding dress ever. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.

The Third Church

This is another installment of my reimagining of the Revelation to John.  These short pieces  (this 3 of 7) draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

To the angel of the Black churches write: These are the words of the one who has the platinum gavel:

I know your struggles, what you face every day, right in the heart of where Satan seems to be working the most, your struggles that don’t have an end in sight. Even still, you’re holding tightly to my name, and you didn’t turn your back on your faith in me even in the days of Martin Luther King, Jr., my faithful witness who was killed among you – clearly Satan’s work. But here’s my problem: some of you are listening who Achan, whose lust for wealth brought destruction on all of God’s people. And others among you have embraced the Universalists’ teachings. So repent! If you don’t, I will come soon, and when I do, I’ll crush you with the gavel of my mouth. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. To everyone who conquers, I’ll show the hidden doors to my treasury vault, and I’ll give you a megaphone that has a battery that will never run out and that no one can find.

The Second Church

This is the next installment of my reimagining of the Revelation to John.  These short pieces draw from Revelation 2-3, and I’ll post once for each of the 7 churches.  These installments really helped me to see how provocative John’s letter would’ve been in its original context.  I’d love to know what you think.

And to the angel of the Arab churches write: These are the words of the first and last, who was dead and came to life, the ultimate immigrant:

I know your suffering, poverty and rejection (even though you’re actually rich). I hear the slander coming from those who say they are God’s chosen nation and are not – they’re actually a Satan’s nation. Don’t be afraid of what you’re about to suffer. Get ready: the devil is about to put you through the wringer – he’s testing you, and it’s not going to be pretty. Or short. Stay strong. Stay faithful even if it means death and I’ll give you the gold medal in Life. Let anyone who has ears listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. Whoever conquers won’t be caught in the second death.