This series of posts is my attempt to demonstrate that the language of the Revelation was actually symbolic code that was very intelligible to a first-century Jewish Christian living in the Roman Empire.  I’m re-writing the Revelation to communicate the same message, but to a twenty-first century American Christian audience, using symbols we understand.  This particular section parallels Revelation chapter 6.  If you want to catch up, here’s a PDF compilation of all the installments so far: The Revelation to JR. – Chapters 1-6.

I saw the Lamb sign one of the lines on the Order, and I heard one of the four creatures call out in a voice like a jet engine, “Come!”  I looked and saw a gleaming white 747!  Its pilot was wearing a turban and he was given a gold medal, and wherever he flew, he conquered and destroyed.

When the Lamb signed the second line on the Order, I heard the second creature call out, “Come!”  Out came a fleet of news vans, all blood red.  Their driver was allowed to take peace from the earth, to spread dissention and fear so that people would turn on each other.  He was given a giant gavel.

When the Lamb signed the third line, the third creature called out, “Come!”  I looked, and a bear and bull came rushing out.  Their rider was a banker; he held the keys to Fort Knox in his hand.  And as the bear and bull ran rampant, destroying thousands upon thousands of houses, I heard a voice that sounded like it was coming from among the four creatures.  It was saying,

A McDonald’s Value Meal costs two hundred dollars, and gas is two hundred dollars per gallon!  But the caviar and steaks will not be touched.

When the Lamb signed the fourth line, the fourth creature called out, “Come!”  I looked and saw a broken-down, rickety wheel-chair coming out of a nursing home.  A wizened old man, hooked up to an IV and heart monitors, was sitting in the wheel chair.  He wore a long, black robe and carried a scythe, and his nametag read ‘DEATH’, and the hordes of Hell were right behind him.  They were given authority over a quarter of the world’s population, to kill them in war, by famine, disease and even wild animals.

When the Lamb signed the fifth line, I saw under the podium the souls of everyone who had been slaughtered for the Word of God, and for the testimony they’d given.  They shouted, cried as loudly as they could:

Sovereign Lord, holy and true God, how long will it be before you judge everyone on earth, before you avenge our deaths?

They were each given a white graduation robe and told to relax just a little bit longer, until the number of their brothers and sisters who were about to be killed (just like they’d been killed) was complete.

When the Lamb signed the sixth line, I looked, and every fault line in the world exploded – earthquakes and volcanoes everywhere.  The sun was completely blacked out and the moon turned to blood – somehow a solar and lunar eclipse at the same time!  Giant meteors were slamming into the earth – it was like someone was shaking an apple tree and the stars were falling out of the sky like deadly fruit!  The sky itself was falling – literally! – and mountains and islands were vanishing, swallowed into the ground and oceans.

As everything fell apart, I saw presidents and prime ministers, dictators and despots, the CEOs and oil tycoons, movie stars and pop princesses – and not only them, but even the farmers and welfare moms, the homeless and illegal immigrants – everyone!  They all tried to find a hole to hide in, and they began begging the earth itself,

Fall on us!  Crush us!  Anything to hide us from the face of the One seated at the Desk and from the wrath of the Lamb.  See?  The great Day of their wrath has come.  Do you see anyone who can survive it?

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