Debbie Reese - May 19, 2019

Unconditional Positive Regard

Growing Together

Since we live in our own heads, we tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. But we judge others harshly in part because we can’t see what burdens they carry. Healthy relationships are characterized by Unconditional Positive Regard, or giving others the benefit of the doubt. This is a grace we can only give when we first receive it from God. So how do we do that?

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We are, by nature, relational creatures. From the time we’re born, we’re in relationships with other people. And it doesn’t matter if you’re extroverted, like me, and have a wide pool of relationships, or you’re more introverted and have a few, deep relationships. We all have them. We need them. We were created for them.

So we all know relationships are hard work. Especially the more you get to know someone – you start to realize they’re not like you. They don’t see the world the same way you do. They don’t think the same way. And it causes conflict.

In the first church where I was a youth pastor, I had a parent who was that person for me. From the day her family joined the church, it was clear she did not like me or the way I pastored our teens. And she wasn’t shy about letting me know. Barely a week went by that she didn’t send me an email, call me or come to my office. And of course, this was church, so I couldn’t kick her out or anything. But honestly, if that was a relationship I could have walked away from, I would have in a second.

I don’t think that’s just me. It sure seems like a lot of us treat relationships as more disposable the older I get. Rather than work hard on our relationships, we ditch them – whether it’s a break up text, icing out a coworker, the cold shoulder to a spouse, ghosting on a friendship or avoiding family reunions.

Easter proves that God cares about relationships. And Easter matters especially when our relationships get hard. So if you have any relationships in your life that are hard right now, you came to the right place.

God raised Jesus from the dead, and that’s very good news for our relationships.

Join us Sunday as we learn how God’s faithfulness enables us to be faithful.

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