Holy Jesus

 In Blog, Pop Culture, Teachings

Also known as Jesus H. Christ (the 'H' stands for 'hallowed').

Last week, we looked at Homeboy Jesus – the Jesus who wants to be your friend but never challenges you.  Now meet his equally-evil twin, Holy Jesus (a.k.a. Holier Than Thou Jesus or, according to Homeboy Jesus, ‘Can’t Touch This’ Jesus).

Holy Jesus is really holy.  He always has been.  And it goes without saying that He’s way more holy than you will ever be.  And since ‘holy’ means ‘set apart’, don’t think for a minute that Holy Jesus will ever actually want to touch you.  Look at Him.

No, really.  Look.  Just for a second (if you look too long, Holy Jesus will burn out your retinas. See Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark).

Did you catch how white His robe was?  Man, that thing is CLEAN.  That’s why you can’t get near Him.  Because you’re a dirty, wicked sinner that Holy Jesus doesn’t really want anything to do with.

Remember that one time He came down and died for your sins?  Yeah.  Good enough.  Now you can come to Heaven and live in a mansion He’ll build for you (which will obviously be a LONG way from His place).

Whatever you do, please just don’t talk to Him.  Or think about Him.  He’s too demanding anyway – He has so many rules and regulations you’ll never measure up.  Just accept that He died for you and trust that’s good enough.

What’s truly sad about Holy Jesus is that he won’t change you any more than Homeboy Jesus will.

Yes, this is what Holy Jesus thinks of you. You STINK!This Jesus is so distant and aloof that he can’t engage our lives in a meaningful way.  And it’s not the Jesus we meet in the Scriptures.  Jesus’ holiness was not a detachment from the people around him.  Jesus’ interactions with the unholy didn’t contaminate him, didn’t make him unclean.  Rather, his holiness was contagious.  He touched the unclean and made them clean, whole.

I know I am often tempted to follow this Jesus.  I don’t pray, don’t study because I don’t need to.  Holy Jesus isn’t interested in any sort of intimacy with me.  So my ‘relationship with Him is easy (even if it also involves a healthy amount of self-loathing).

I’m ready for a Jesus who transcends both Homeboy and Holy.

I want a Jesus who is my friend, but who calls me to be better.  Who is rooting for me, wants me to succeed and empowers me to overcome.

What about you?

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