The Press Conference

 In Blog, Pop Culture, Teachings, The Bible

This series of posts is my attempt to demonstrate that the language of the Revelation was actually symbolic code that was very intelligible to a first-century Jewish Christian living in the Roman Empire.  I’m re-writing the Revelation to communicate the same message, but to a twenty-first century American Christian audience, using symbols we understand.  This particular section parallels Revelation chapter 8.  If you want to catch up, here’s a PDF of the entire series so far: The Revelation to JR – 1-8.

When the Lamb signed the seventh line on the Order, there was utter silence in heaven for about half an hour.  Then I saw the seven angels who comprise God’s cabinet, and they were given seven news cameras.

Another angel with a golden coffee cup came and stood at the podium.  He was given gallons of coffee to place along with the prayers of all the saints on the golden podium that stands in front of the desk.  The aroma of the coffee, along with the saints’ prayers, rose up to God from the angel’s hand.  Then the angel took the coffee cup and filled it with boiling coffee from the podium and threw it down onto the earth, and when he did, I saw lightning flash, heard thunder crash and saw a massive earthquake.

Now the angels with the cameras are turning them on, getting ready to broadcast what’s going on…

The first angel turned on his camera and I saw hail and fire mixed with blood rain down onto the earth.  A third of earth was burned up – a third of the forests and prairies and deserts and everything.

The second angel turned on his camera and a giant asteroid, burning with fire, was thrown into the ocean.  A third of the ocean turned to blood and everything in it died – a third of the fish, the seaweed and plankton, whales and seals, all of them.  Even a third of the ships were destroyed.

The third angel turned on his camera and another meteor fell from heaven, blazing like a bonfire.  It fell on a third of all the rivers and lakes.  The meteor is called Wormwood, and a third of all the fresh water turned to wormwood, and millions died because the water had been poisoned.

The fourth angel turned on his camera and a third of the sun was struck, along with a third of the moon and stars.  Everything became a third darker – day and night.

Then I looked, and I saw an eagle flying in the sky, calling out,

“Curse, curse, curse on the inhabitants of the earth, when the other three angels turn on their cameras!”

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