This series of posts is my attempt to demonstrate that the language of the Revelation was actually symbolic code that was very intelligible to a first-century Jewish Christian living in the Roman Empire. I’m re-writing the Revelation to communicate the same message, but to a twenty-first century American Christian audience, using symbols we understand. This particular section parallels Revelation chapter 12. If you want to catch up, here’s a PDF of the entire series so far: The Revelation to JR – Chapters 1-12.
An incredible sign appeared in heaven: I saw a woman who wore the sun like a gown and used the moon as a footstool. She wore a gold medal made of twelve stars like a set of pearls. She was pregnant, and was clearly in labor.
Then another sign appeared: an enormous, blood-red dragon with thirteen heads and fifty dollar signs all around it. It had thirteen presidential seals on its heads. His tail swept across the sky, knocking a third of the stars out of the sky, throwing them down on the earth. Then the dragon positioned itself in front of the woman so it could devour her child as soon as it was born.
The woman gave birth to a boy – the one for whom the Father has prepared the wedding banquet. And he was snatched up into heaven, to God and his Desk. Meanwhile, the woman fled into the wilderness, to a place God had prepared for her so she can be safe and nourished for 1,260 days.
Then a war broke out in heaven. The archangel Michael and his angels fought against the dragon. The dragon and his angels fought back, but they were defeated and there wasn’t anywhere for them in heaven anymore.
The great dragon was thrown down to the earth – that ancient monster who is called the Accuser and the Liar and the one who tricks the whole world. He was thrown down to the earth along with all his angels.
Then I heard a loud voice announce to heaven,
The Salvation and Power and Kingdom of our God, and his Christ’s authority, have now come because the Accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down – the one who never stops condemning them in God’s presence.
But they have conquered him by the Lamb’s blood and by their testimony, because they didn’t value their lives most, even when they were facing the possibility of death.
If you’re in heaven, it’s time to party!
But if you’re on the earth or in the oceans, you’re cursed because the Liar has come down to you and he’s got revenge on his mind because he knows he doesn’t have much time!
So when the dragon saw that he’d been thrown down to the earth, he chased the woman who’d given birth to the boy. But the woman was given a private jet so she could fly from the Monster into the wilderness – to that place where she’s safe and nourished for a day, two days and half a day. The dragon vomited a sea of primeval waters out of his mouth, but the earth itself rose up to defend the woman, swallowing the waters.
The dragon was more furious than ever, so he declared war on the rest of the woman’s children – those who have God’s law written on their hearts and believe Jesus’ witness.