Unconditional Positive Regard

 In Sermons, Teachings

Debbie Reese - May 19, 2019

Unconditional Positive Regard

Growing Together

Since we live in our own heads, we tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. But we judge others harshly in part because we can’t see what burdens they carry. Healthy relationships are characterized by Unconditional Positive Regard, or giving others the benefit of the doubt. This is a grace we can only give when we first receive it from God. So how do we do that?

Discussion Guide

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This sermon is written and delivered by Debbie Reese

Does anyone else get really mad when people don’t live up to your expectations?  

You do something nice for someone’s birthday, but they wanted their birthday “month” celebration?  Have you bought flowers for a significant other or loved one and they were upset because of the money spent on something that would just die?  A coworker shows up to work late on the daily and you don’t understand why they are always getting away without a write up and your boss is watching you like a hawk?  You let a person at WalMart go in front of you in line because they only have a few items and don’t say thank you. I feel this on the daily driving to work in traffic and I let someone in and they don’t even give me the complimentary thank you wave!! How rude?!

Be kind, that is all! Why can’t others just be kind, show up, do what we do, work as hard as we work, say please and thank you and all of the other items that appear on the “All I really needed to know I learned in kindergarten” poster!

  1. Share everything.
  2. Play fair.
  3. Don’t hit people.
  4. Put things back where you found them.
  5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
  6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
  7. Say you’re SORRY when you HURT somebody.
  8. Wash your hands before you eat.
  9. Flush.
  10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  11. Live a balanced life – learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.

Life isn’t that easy or we will all be doing the things we learned in kindergarten still as adults!  

But what if it could be? What if we could #13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

JR has challenged us all through this series to grow healthier relationships to encourages us to share our thoughts, feelings and actions with others without fear.

A way of doing this in our relationships is choosing to extend Unconditional Positive Regard. UPR is showing unconditional love no matter what the other person does. This doesn’t mean we let the other person hurt you or take advantage of you.This means that you respect the person and you chose to respond to their situation no matter your opinion or how harmful it might seem to you.

UPR is a gift you give, grace we pass on from God to the other person.  It is looking through another lens or through the lens of that person.

The person you are giving this grace to isn’t thinking about you or how to ruin your life. They are truly thinking about their situation and what they feel is best for themselves. People are not that into you or your opinion no matter how much we think it when posting on social media about your day or crisis or #FWP!

We need to create a balance in our lives for offering unconditional positive regard to those around us and being the best person we can be.

How can we offer Unconditional Positive Regard as a grace to others?

Join us Sunday as we learn how to accept others as God accepts us.

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