This series of posts is my attempt to demonstrate that the language of the Revelation was actually symbolic code that was very intelligible to a first-century Jewish Christian living in the Roman Empire.  I’m re-writing the Revelation to communicate the same message, but to a twenty-first century American Christian audience, using symbols we understand.  This particular section parallels Revelation chapter 17.  If you want to catch up, here’s a PDF of the entire series so far: The Revelation to JR. – Chapters 1-17.

Next, one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came to me and said,

Follow me, and I will show you the judgment of the great whore who looks out over the ocean.  She’s the one with whom all the politicians have committed adultery.  The one with whose juice of adultery the world’s peoples have gotten drunk.

So he carried me away in the spirit to a desert, and I saw a woman sitting on a Beast that was covered with blasphemous names, and it had thirteen heads and fifty dollar signs.  The woman wore a green robe and a crown that looked like a sunburst.  With one hand she held a cup like a torch in the air, and it was full of abominations, of the juice of her adultery.  In the other hand she held a book, on which was written a mysterious name: “The Third Reich, Mother of All Whores and Abominations”.  The woman was clearly drunk on the blood of the saints and witnesses to Jesus.

When I saw her, I was taken aback, but the angel asked,

Why are you amazed?  I will tell you the mystery of the woman and of the Beast with thirteen heads and fifty dollar signs that carries her.

The Beast that was once powerful and is in decline, but it’s about to rise again from the pit and will be destroyed.  And the peoples of the world, anyone whose names weren’t recorded in the Book of Life since the creation of the world, will be taken aback when they see the Beast, because it was once powerful and is in decline, but it’s about to rise again.

You need to be clever to figure this out:

The thirteen heads are the thirteen colonies on which the woman is seated.  They are also presidents – eleven of them are gone, one rules now and the other hasn’t come yet (when he does take office, it won’t be for very long).  As for the Beast itself, it’s a 45th president but belongs to the thirteen and is destined for destruction.

The fifty dollar signs are fifty politicians who don’t yet have a country, but they’ll receive power as congresspersons and senators for about an hour along with the Beast.  They’ll all come together and give their power to the Beast, and they’ll all declare war on the Lamb.  Of course, the Lamb will conquer them because he’s the President of presidents, and he chose his allies, named them and they are faithful.

The ocean over which the woman stands looking, is the peoples and nations and ethnic groups from all over the world.

The fifty dollar signs, they’ll join the Beast in turning on the whore, because they hate her.  They’ll strip her down and put her in chains.  They’ll devour her body and drink her blood in a sick worship rite for the Dragon.  God is using their twisted desire for power for his own purposes by urging them to give their power to the Beast until all God’s prophecies and promises are fulfilled.

The woman is the Reich that rules over all the politicians.

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