Amanda has a superpower. She’s impossible NOT to love. Go ahead… try. I dare you.
Continue readingIf 50 is the New 30, then is 30 the new 21?
Extended Adolescence is just part of the larger evolution of our culture’s script. Rather than criticizing, we all need to work together to figure out what’s coming next.
Continue readingJesus Got a Sex-Change (Sort of…)
Jesus is not just eternally masculine. Because Jesus is the incarnation of divine wisdom, he is both masculine and feminine.
Continue readingTop 10 Posts of 2011
2011 was a big year for this blog. Here are my 10 most popular posts by number of visits. Okay, technically eleven, since there was a two-way tie for the 10 slot.
10. 26 New and Improved Reasons I Love My Wife
What can I say? Everyone loves my wife. So in honor of her 26th birthday, I listed a few of the many reasons I love her. Obviously the masses agreed.
10. The Black Swan Review
One of the craziest films of 2010, but also a great retelling of the Garden of Eden story. If you’ve never seen an Aronofsky film, prepare yourself. If you have, you have some inkling of the sort of crazy you’re in for.
9. Erasing Hell by Francis Chan Review
An awful, half-hearted response to Rob Bell’s Love Wins. It didn’t perform nearly as well for all kinds of reasons. My review was basically a call to save your money and skip this book.
8. The Fighter and The King’s Speech Reviews
These two movies were basically the same exact story. What separated them out was the incredible acting from the entire casts. They transformed a standard underdog story into something pretty special.
7. A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan Review
One of the best books I’ve ever read, and one that really has its finger on the pulse of our collective consciousness right now. Absolutely outstanding writing, and well-deserving of the Pulitzer it won.
6. A Christian Response to Osama bin Laden’s Death
The only piece of theological writing to crack my top 10, and again, not a big surprise. I was saddened by much of the celebrating I saw around bin Laden’s death. And while I understood it, I believe Christians are called to be better than that, especially when it comes to how we treat our enemies.
5. Why I Switched from a Nook to a Kindle
A dated post since both Nook and Kindle have newer versions available. But I’m still sticking with my Kindle 3/Kindle Keyboard for the same reasons I listed in this post.
4. The Dark Knight Rises Previews
Click here for my take on the Prologue and the Trailer
No one is surprised that I’m pre-obsessed with this movie. But both of my write-ups on it so far have gotten more attention than most reviews I’ve done of movies that are already out.
3. The Dexter Season 6 Reviews
Click here to go to my review of episode one
Dexter took on God in Season 6, with some surprising results. Though I wasn’t wild about how they wrapped up all the themes they’d unpacked, the writers deserve some major kudos for this whole season. One of the best and most direct treatments of religion I’ve seen on secular television.
2. Love Wins by Rob Bell Review
No surprise here – this was one of the most controversial books of the decade let alone last year. Dozens of times more ink has been spilt discussing this book than it took to write it. And one (relatively quick) read will show you why: Bell raises questions that need to be taken seriously.
1. 127 Hours Review
I have no idea why my review of 127 Hours was by far my most viewed post. I did think it was the best film of 2010, and if you haven’t seen it yet, you really are missing out.
Allah by Miroslav Volf
Miroslav Volf asks, Do Christians and Muslims worship the same God? He answers a qualified, Yes, and that we should be able to work together for peace in this world. Excellent read.
Continue readingFilm Reflections: Growing Old without Growing Up
The Best Picture nominees shine an interesting light on what’s happening in our culture right now. It touches on a deep apprehension we have towards growing up… which isn’t the same thing as growing old.
Continue reading26-30: The Most Dangerous Thing. And the Most Powerful.
26. Christians need the Gospel as much as anyone.
Since I was raised in the Church, I was raised to think that the Gospel was mainly about getting my sins forgiven. That the biggest problem in the world was that I was a bad guy and God could make me good. And all I had to do was say the magic prayer and BAM! Jesus saved me and set me on the straight-and-narrow. End of story. The Gospel had done its work in my life and now I’m one of the Good Guys, God’s Chosen Kid.
But I’ve learned that the Gospel is about so much more than forgiving sin. The forgiveness of sin is part of the Gospel, but any gospel that stops at the cross is incomplete. Good Friday is meaningless without Resurrection Sunday. The Empty Tomb is what gives the cross its power. Jesus raised from the dead so that we could follow him in that resurrection.
We are not just saved from sin. We are saved to an abundant, exciting life with God. The good news is that only the good creator of the world gets the final say in what’s real and what really matters. Money does not determine my worth. The cult of celebrity does not determine my worth. The brokenness in my life, whatever its source, does not determine my worth. Only God, in whose image I am created, has final authority over who I am and what I am worth. And that God died so that I might be rescued from the Death I invited into my life. So I am free to rejoin God and live the life I was created for and called to.
That’s very good news, and I need to hear that now as much as I ever did.
27. We should all listen to the media less.
At the end of the day, the media’s job is to sell us stuff. Whether it’s music, a magazine, newspaper, TV show or movie, they’re trying to make a buck. And since no one will pay attention unless they stand out, media outlets spend billions of dollars creating mountains out of molehills so we’ll listen to their message (and end up buying their products). Sensationalism sells.
We consume so much media that their worldview has become ours. And it needs to stop. The media appeals to our baser instincts – they perpetuate our fear and desire to conform. It’s poison and we could all do with much less than we take in right now.
28. Technology is useful but dangerous.
A couple of generations ago, futurists were predicting that we’d all be working 20 hours per week these days, thanks to the miracle of technology. We could do so much so quickly that we’d have tons more leisure time. The mad rush of progress would soon deliver humanity into a new golden age.
Clearly, that hasn’t happened. In fact, the 9-5 has become the 8-6. Or 7. And the five-day work week is nearly a thing of the past, having now stretched to 6 days. We work now more than we ever have, and all this with technologies that keep us more connected than ever. We can’t focus on one project or person at a time – we’re constantly checking emails and texts, working on three projects at once (when we’re slow). And all thanks to technology.
Technology is enslaving us. Rather than letting it serve us, we serve it. This week, try turning your email notifications off. Close your facebook instead of leaving it open in your browser. Put your phone on silent (not just vibrate) when you’re hanging out with people (or turn it off completely!). Just for a week. See what happens.
That weird feeling you have? It’s called freedom…
29. Despair might be the most dangerous force in the world (but only second-most powerful).
There comes a point for every person striving for a goal when they have to decide if they’re going to finish. This is whether you’re running, competing in an athletic event, trying to finish a book or project, fighting a war, or anything. When something seems overwhelming, we are very tempted to call it quits. It becomes easy to believe that the battle is over, that we’ve already lost.
And that is called despair. It’s dangerous. And it’s always right around the corner. Despair is what tells us the marriage isn’t worth fighting for or the friend isn’t worth forgiving one more time. It’s the little voice that convinces us not to try any more because we’ll just fail again. Or that people never change, so we might as well give up on them.
It’s the voice that tells us redemption is impossible, that rescue will never come, that hope is a fool’s virtue. And the voice of Despair is ever-present, often overwhelming and seemingly all-powerful. But that’s a lie. Despair is not, in fact, the most powerful force in the universe.
30. Love wins. Every time.
The truth is that Love conquers despair every time. This Love is available to all of us, and when we are at our best, we embody it to each other. In our darkest moments, when all hope seems lost and Despair whispers in our ears that we are foolish to imagine that anything could save us or redeem our circumstances, Love rises and covers us. Love rescues and redeems us. Not with Cupid’s bow, but with Jesus’ cross and empty tomb.
I can’t say it any better than Paul of Tarsus, so I’ll quit trying. Brothers and sisters, this is Love:
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way.
Love is not irritable or resentful.
Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love wins. Every time.
16-20: Stand Up for Yourself, Nicely
16. God isn’t on my side.
Maybe it’s because I was raised in a pretty conservative family and church, but I always had the impression that God was on my side. That I was (basically) a good guy and had life (mostly) figured out. That while I was occasionally arrogant and a bit of a jerk, I was all around pretty righteous, so God clearly must love me. God probably hates the same people I hate. And wants for me what I want for me. I’m not sure when I learned it, but somewhere along the way that God isn’t actually on my side.
God is on God’s side (I heard a great talk from Andy Stanley on Joshua 5:13-15). At bare minimum, this ought to engender humility and compassion as we interact with the world.
17. Love isn’t always mushy.
The Scriptures are clear that God’s central attribute is love (1 John 4:7-12). Because our culture has reduced the idea of love to emotional fluff, that statement about God’s character comes under frequent attack. Calling God ‘love’ conjures up images of a meek-and-mild Jesus who doesn’t challenge us, who has a loosey-goosey approach to dealing with sin.
But the Scriptures don’t define love that way. Love is self-sacrifice, self-giving. Love always seeks the good for others. Love in the Scriptures is primarily a covenantal term. To say that God is Love is to say that God is always faithful to the promises He has made – even when we are not. That God always seeks our good, even when we try to self-destruct. That God is the giver of all good gifts, that everything that sustains us is the overflow of God’s fundamental character.
18. How to say “No”
Does anyone else have a problem saying ‘No’? I always have. I want people to like me and I want to be dependable. So I say ‘Yes’ to everything. I learned that if I can’t draw healthy boundaries, I end up doing many things poorly, which means instead of coming through for everyone, I tend to let everyone down.
At my previous church, I was often tapped to do dramas. I liked it, and I did a pretty good job (I assume, since they kept asking me), but I simply didn’t have the time and energy to devote to them. Every time I agreed to do a drama, the rest of my work suffered.
In those situations, I have to say ‘No’. I have to know what I am capable of and where my limits are, and I have to practice making wise investments of my time and energies. My decision to quit participating in dramas was actually a good thing – it forced the drama team to find some new blood. Saying ‘No’ actually makes it possible for more people to get involved, creates more opportunities for other people to step up. And that’s a win for everyone.
19. How to say “No” nicely
Learning to draw boundaries is an important step, but it’s only the first step. I also had to learn how to communicate my decision in a healthy way. When I started saying ‘No’ to stuff, people really thought I was saying No to them. They often took my rejection of their project or idea as a rejection of them personally.
And it’s not. In fact, a healthy decision to say No is a pursuit of health, not only for myself but for the persons and projects to whom I’m saying No. So communicating it that way does wonders to keep hurt feelings from becoming grudges.
20. Practice makes perfect.
It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you’re probably not going to be very good at it at first. A lot of people choose just to give up, but if you really want to excel at something, you’re going to have to put in some legwork. Malcolm Gladwell suggests it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at something.
I’m working on my writing and speaking. And I’ve got a long way to go before I hit 10,000 hours. What about you? What are you working on? And how far along are you?
11-15: Why Batman is the Best
11. Batman really is the best literary character.
I know I’m going to get crucified for this, but it’s true. Batman is all about what it means to be human. He lives in a world that is broken at a fundamental level, and he himself is a victim of that world – he watched his parents murdered in front of him. And in a world where evil seems overwhelming, in a world full of beings with supernatural powers, the Batman is only human. He has no special abilities. He has only his will (and a giant pile of money). As silly as it sounds, I think the Batman speaks to that deep part of us that rages against injustice, that refuses to believe the world is just a random joke. That part of us that knows something’s broken and wants to fix it. That part of us that believes we can do more than everyone else thinks we can. That part of us that knows there’s more to being human than what most people settle for.
12. Violence doesn’t solve anything.
The thing about Batman is that he’s fictional. There’s a reason superheroes don’t really exist: they can’t. The world really is broken, but it was broken by people. We broke (and continue to break) the world by trying to impose our own kind of order on it. Something like 7 billion wills all trying to get the world to march to the beat of our own drums and we wonder that chaos seems to be the order of the day? And somehow we’ve gotten it in our heads that the answer is to try harder than everyone else. That if we are louder or stronger or more powerful than everyone else, our way will reign supreme. But that’s not true. Violence only begets more violence. Violence can be effective in the short term, but it doesn’t fix the fundamental problem, the break at the core of who we are. It only makes it worse.
13. The worst kinds of violence aren’t physical.
In fact, physical violence might be the preferable. Its effects are more immediate, more visible, but they fade more quickly as well. The more insidious kinds of violence are those that leave scars on our souls – emotional abuse, degrading another person’s spirit. Crushing other cultures not by the sword but the commercial. Teaching someone that difference is dangerous, that conformity is humanity. Making someone else feel less human because s/he doesn’t fit into your idea of a perfect world. That’s much worse.
14. Power is dangerous.
And that’s scary, because as soon as you have influence over another person, it’s possible (even likely) that you’re going to hurt him or her. None of us is perfect; we all try to remake the world in our own images. And that means we’re always at risk – always toeing the line between really engaging another person and colonizing him, remaking her to fit into our world.
15. The best place to be is uncomfortable.
Safe is easy. And easy is dangerous, because easy is comfortable. When we’re comfortable, we get complacent and we quit paying attention. We stop asking hard questions. We start to think we’re the king of our castles. Being in an uncomfortable space reminds us that we’re not in control. That the world is stranger than we like to remember. That other people really aren’t the way we want them to be. The uncomfortable spaces are a very good place to meet God.
As I write this, I’m sitting on the balcony of a Dominican Institute in Cairo listening to the Muslim call to prayer echo across the city. I’m pretty far outside my comfort zone.
Who’s your favorite character? Where have you been the victim of violence? What about the perpetrator? And how comfortable are you where you are?
6-10: Good Stories Matter
6. Reading is a necessary life-skill.
Leaders are readers. Read lots of stuff. Blogs, books, magazines. Read the best stuff in your area. Read fiction. Read bestsellers. Read classics. Read books you’re pretty sure you’re going to disagree with. Just read. Seriously. It’s a skill you can develop.
It just occurred to me that, if you’re reading this, I’m probably preaching to the choir.
7. There is such a thing as good literature. Dan Brown, Stephanie Meyer and Tim LeHaye are not it.
If you’re reading, I’m so glad. But please read good books. Not the trash that gets pawned off as literature. Yes, I’m a snob about good books and I will never apologize for it. The world is packed full of good books, so you don’t ever need to waste your time with crap. I’m sure I just offended tons of people, but see above: on this issue, I will not apologize.
Do. Not. Read. Bad. Books. It’s actually okay to get into a book and quit because it’s not a good book. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Do yourself a favor and do the work of finding and reading good books.
8. Good stories are hard to find.
Not because there are so few, but because there’s so much clutter out there (see #7). Good stories transport us outside our small worlds and to a place that’s bigger than we can imagine on our own. They show us ourselves at our best and worst. They’re mirrors that show us our true selves (because let’s face it: we all need help with that).
Here are some of my favorite stories: The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, Anansi Boys, The Dark Knight, The Shawshank Redemption and Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
9. Good story-tellers can make anything interesting and worthwhile.
Seriously. Good story-tellers make even the most mundane activities or scenes burst with life and energy. They use words to unveil a reality that you see has been there all along, you just couldn’t see it. They show you the magic that imbues even the very mundane and ordinary. And they make it look easy, but it’s not. It’s not a gift… it’s a carefully cultivated skill.
Some of my favorite storytellers: Stephen R. Donaldson, Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Johnny Cash,
10. You can learn to be a good story-teller.
It’s true. What looks like magic is actually blood, sweat and lots of tears. We are hard-wired for stories, so there are some basic skills anyone can develop to become a better story-teller (and –hearer for that matter). Donald Miller has been working quite a bit on this lately, and has tons of great suggestions about how to become a better story-teller. Here’re some books I also highly recommend if you want to work on this!
Resonate – Nancy Duarte
Made to Stick – Chip and Dan Heath
Communicating for a Change – Andy Stanley